Finding a wife, but which one? One who looks like our mother or the daughter of the “new generation”?
We are the diaspora, away from our African soil, like any “uprooted”, we try to find in our surroundings a part of our “home”, the memory of a kitchen at the foot of one’s mother, the head engulfed in exotic and supernatural scents of a kitchen with the smell of traveling.
We have also over the years, bathed in rituals and habits from a distant folklore, almost dreamlike. So on one side we have the benefits of tradition, of the connection that exists between us and our continent. But traditions also have their bad sides with their share of multiple taboos, prejudice and inequality. Hence, the appeal of modernity. Ha! This famous modernity synonym of freedom, emancipation, the ability to live in “our time”.
A modern woman is aware of the society in which she lives and knows its pitfalls, its “sham”. She will not yield to the “glitz” nor to the temptations of western society.
A modern woman is also a woman who works, who is free, who claims her freedom and her independence.
A modern woman is also a woman who knows how to be beautiful, who dresses up, and knows how to hold herself.
This connection to ourselves and to our aspirations is important because it guides our relationships to women. The attraction of the new, of the current is “mingling” with the love of the past. And that’s where the problems occur! Finding the right compromise between nature and nurture? Combining tradition and modernity comes down to mixing oil and water. Some have “expatriated” women from there. Others have tried to marry women from here by bringing in their motherland’s mindset, different causes similar effects. Most of them have regretted it.